Going To Mediation. I Want To Be Ready

[nelson70]

Wife has abandoned the marriage after 10 years and home a few months ago. I've filed for divorce.

We both have steady work. I do make significantly more than she does.

Marriage home was bought by me a few years before the marriage. I have only paid down the mortgage by $10k and still have 17 years and some months to satisfy the mortgage.

Had to get a new reliable car and used equity loan.

Her attorney filed for me to pay his fees. They are looking at getting 1/2 my 401k, cash, equity in home, and her attny fees paid. I believe this is customary and ask for the everything plus the kitchen sink just for kicks.

I believe the court can't force me to pay all her fees since she will get cash and assets and she did pay a small retainer to retain him.

Only marital assets we have are a vacation condo and some land.

Home has always been in my name. I know she can't get my house and I have read the following from other sites pertaining to the equity:

"..if the property grows in value
because of natural market forces or inflation, then no portion of the increased value will go to
the other spouse"

I know equity was a big deal when the real estate market was booming and attny's made a killing on fees by sapping the equity in homes.

I haven't made any improvements to the home to increase its value. The value went up and it went down due to natural market forces.

We have to go to mediation since her attny doesn't agree with the settlement we submitted to the court. But my attny says that it will all be worked out in mediation.

I don't like people deciding for me and want to be properly informed. If I have to walk out of mediation and fire my attny on the spot in writing, I will do it!

What are my options in mediation pertaining to the above mentioned issues, and what is your professional opinion from similar divorces?

BTW, there are no kids involved so no child support or alimony will be factored into this divorce. I do enjoy this forum greatly!!

Thank you in advance,
Nelson

[Attorney Howard Iken]

Pay down of principle during the marriage is marital. Otherwise the house is non-marital.

In a 10 year marriage alimony may be an issue, depending on relative incomes. Most likely to be a temporary alimony issue. Alimony is less likely if everyone leaves with significant assets.

Payment of fees is usually based on relative income - so you are exposed to that possibility.

Mediation is a "contact" game. You need to work it hard and be prepared to think on your feet.

Attorney Howard Iken

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