Providing Standard of Living vs Alimony

[SiriusLee]

Hi -- I am just beginning to consider divorce, thank you so much for your site. I would like your opinion of what I hope to be able to agree with my spouse on. I am 47, she is 45, married 22 years, two children, ages 16 and 11. We both have a college degree, but she has been a stay at home mom since the kids came, although very involved in volunteer work and some side work. I make about 120k a year. We both have an IRA and a joint mutual fund, and I have a 401k. Both kids are enrolled in the Florida PrePaid College fund.

What I would LIKE to do is simply dissolve the marriage, but keep all the support of my family exactly as is...ergo, I continue to pay for the house and they live in it, I pay all of the bills, I provide health insurance and care, continue to fund the college prepaid program...everything. I really am not looking to bail on my responsibilities...the marriage has just become hollow and a bit bitter, and I don't want to live that way any longer, nor frankly put my wife through that. I don't believe it would be possible to do all of this, AND have to pay alimony...I think alimony would force a sale of the house and disruption of all the other stuff I currently pay for. I just cannot see the logic or value in making it all so disruptive and painful. Is what I want possible and reasonable? Thank you for any advice.

Lee

[Attorney Howard Iken]

You can keep the house in place along with some ground rules about maintenance and a future sale.

But payment of expenses IS alimony. So you are really talking about the amount of alimony, and your desired application of the payments.

I believe a designation who will pay certain items as an equivalent to alimony is a potential nightmare. This type of settlement has a lot of gray areas and raises future potential for hardship.

Also, there are certain categories such as child support that are pretty much required to be actual sums of money - paid to the majority parent.

I would suggest you sharpen your pencil and look at the household budget. See what it would really take to support both your lifestyles. Look at our online Calculator for child support. And a possible thing to do would be to see a financial counselor that specializes in divorce - to put together a cash flow plan for both of you.

Also, don't forget, visit a good attorney for a consult and then work with that attorney in developing your plan. If you are in our service area - our initial consults are free.

Attorney Howard Iken

[SiriusLee]

Thanx, I see your points; and yes, I am in your area and plan on setting up a meeting, just trying to get the basic legwork in place first.

So, if I use the calculators, I see alimony of 3k and child care of 2k per month, roughly. If we do leave the house intact and I cover the mortgage, should I expect that to lower the alimony? What if I continue to provide health care coverage for them all? (I used 0 as the cost for health insurance in the Calculator, so I don't expect that one to change)

Thanx, I will be in touch soon.