Asking for the kitchen sink

[33626divorce]

As one of your videos states I have been served and she is asking for the proverbial kitchen sink. Leading up to this she has been completely unwilling to even discuss a settlement at all and immediately "lawyered up" and said she wanted everything handled through attorneys. No chance to even make an offer. Before I was served I had written her an email and offered what I thought was a fair settlement and got no response.

My question is, now that she seems to want it all I fear a major battle on the horizon. Would it hurt me to counter at this time or would I be better served just retaining my own attorney and hunkering down? I have had an initial consultation but have not actually retained anyone yet. I truly feel she would be better served and end up with more if she would just be willing to talk with me. We have been married less than four years with no kids and very little in the way of combined assets.

[Attorney Howard Iken]

My experience is that people are less willing to negotiate at your current stage in the game. By serving you - she probably is feeling powerful. That is not the proper attitude for good negotiations.

I hate to say it ... but it is time to "lawyer up." A showing of strength at this point in time will increase the chance of a settlement at mediation.

Attorney Howard Iken

[33626divorce]

So after she causes me to rack up thousands of dollars in unnecessary fees along with her thousands in fees and doesn't find anything, then tries to stick me with her legal bills what happens then? Is that taken into consideration by the court when it is all said and done? Especially if I had a very realistic offer on the table beforehand?

[Attorney Howard Iken]

Sorry to say - but none of that will matter in the big picture. That is how the system works.

[yourneighbor]

33626divorce,

You have to Lawyer up. As an interested bystander - I'm not a laywer - I feel compelled to add my 2¢ because I feel ya, and I can speak with some experience. The game has just begun.

Four years and the flower is off the rose, huh. You just entered a system that could takes as long as it takes. But only being married 4 years with no kids and both parties working... shouldn't be too bad on you financially after a couple of years of legal crap.

My advice is lawyer up and get to Mediation as quick as possible. You can put your proposal on the table then. In the mean time there is an exasperating amount of paper flying between attorneys, and you (probably) don't have the expertise to coordinate everything.

If you can't come to common ground at mediation - make a judge decide. It sounds like Florida will divide your 'marital' assets equitably and sever. End of game. You gave no indication there would be any reason to continue her support beyond a final judgement. But don't let these lawyers make you agree to anything like life insurance for her (to cover any inequity in your annual income, or whatever), or bamboozle you "in order to Save The Judges' Time". Unless you come out on top... Make a Judge Decide !

If you want to avoid her Lawyers Fees... remain calm and let the process play out. Do everything they ask willlingly and quickly. If you are obnoxious and uncooperative... you will pay, or if you make a disproportionate salaries i.e. she doesn't work. They can ask for the moon (probably will). Doesn't mean it is equitable. See.. too many questions unanswered. Lawyer up and get the ball rollling. Count on 1-2 years - minimum. If it takes longer than that, she will be the one paying your fees, for being uncooperative.

Good Luck.