Safety & Concern

[annoyeddad]

I have been with my wife for the last 8 years. However, prior to meeting my wife, I had a child with another woman. My ex maintained primary custody of my son as we parted ways when my son was 4mths old. My wife has always treated my son as if he was her own, in addition to the 2 children we have together. Throughout my sons life, his mother has failed to maintain a residence for longer than 6 month periods. Up until he began school we shared custody 50/50, and once school began I would pick him up every weekend and break from school. At one point, the year before he was to begin school, she moved 4 states away over night, with no warning. I was supposed to be picking him up the next morning, and instead received an email that she had relocated out of state. Since he has enrolled in school he has changed schools 5 different times... he's only in 3rd grade. He receives failing grades, barely passes grade levels, and has been reprimanded multiple times for behavior at school. When my son finally makes friends in school, she uproots him to another school. When I have asked my ex for the name of my sons teacher - from at least 2 different schools - her response has been "I don't know". At which point I have had to contact the school to find out his teachers name and arrange a conference. My ex continuously brings him around people who have negative influences on him, including boyfriends. For the last year she has been dating a married man who was recently arrested along with a few others for conspiracy to sell marijuana and having multiple "grow houses". He has not yet been indicted, however charges are pending. She continues to bring this man around my child and this mans family as well. At 8 years old he is woken up in the morning for school - his mother then leaves the residence - and he gets himself ready for school and rides his bike there. After school he rides his bike home alone at least a mile, and then is home by himself for approximately 1-2 hours every day. My wife and I own our own home, our two other children are doing well in school, and we are involved with our community in multiple ways. I pay child support each month, provide new clothes and shoes in addition (aside from the clothes we purchase for him, the clothes he wears are always too small). Now that you have a background.. here are a few questions. Please note, we reside in Florida.

At what age is it considered "legal" and "safe" for a child to be left home by themselves?

If I have an issue with her bringing my child around a specific person (the drug dealing boyfriend for example), do I have a legal right to stop her from doing so?

If I were to pursue an attempt to gain custody of my son would her lack of maintaining a stable residence and stable schooling for my child benefit my chances? I am able to provide a stable home and keep him within one school if he were to live with us. My wife and I are both very involved in our children's education and school related events.

My ex's mother (the child's grandmother) has a felony for child abuse on her record. Would it be an issue for me to have written in custody papers that my son is not allowed to be with the grandmother unless either the mother or myself is present?

[Attorney Howard Iken]

At what age is it considered "legal" and "safe" for a child to be left home by themselves?

There is no absolute age. The age is different depending on the maturity of the child and the situation.


If I have an issue with her bringing my child around a specific person (the drug dealing boyfriend for example), do I have a legal right to stop her from doing so?

If it is really over the top dangerous, you may convince a judge to restrict the contact. Otherwise, usually not.



If I were to pursue an attempt to gain custody of my son would her lack of maintaining a stable residence and stable schooling for my child benefit my chances? I am able to provide a stable home and keep him within one school if he were to live with us. My wife and I are both very involved in our children's education and school related events.

Your facts sound reasonable. I would say you have a chance of making a change.



My ex's mother (the child's grandmother) has a felony for child abuse on her record. Would it be an issue for me to have written in custody papers that my son is not allowed to be with the grandmother unless either the mother or myself is present?

Again, it is possible if you convince a judge. The request sounds reasonable.