Is it Best to Stay in Marital Home or Move Out?

[Frstr8d]

First, I would like to thank you for having a website and forum with so much helpful information.

Scenario: Married 3 years. She has 4 kids (in college), I have 2 (in elementary), all from previous marriages. No kids between us. Her kids live with us and I have standard visitation with mine. Bought house together 5 yrs ago at unfortunately high price, compared to now, and high mortgage. I earn 2X what she does. I pay child support (CS), mortgage and all major food and maintenance requirements. Wife has shown to be extremely selfish and greedy, too many instances to list, and she shops a lot. We have had many "loud" arguments about finances, her selfishness and she gets upset (jealous) if I buy my kids things since I already pay CS. She doesn't complain when I buy things for her kids. She once called police during argument. No charges filed but police said if they have to return that I would have to go away for everyone's safety.

Problem: I am going to ask for divorce but do not have a place to go to because I do not have enough money to pay for an apartment. If I stay she will most probably create a situation where the police will be called and I could lose my job. If I go it means I will have to pay for an apartment and will not be able not able to pay the mortgage.

Questions: Other than messing up my credit, will not paying the mortgage in order to pay for apartment create any adverse legal problems for me? Will abandonment of the marital home put me at a disadvantage in trying to get my portion of the equity? Since she can't afford the home on her own could she claim temporary alimony to pay for her housing? Or should I stay and tough it out until divorce if final?

Thank you.

[Attorney Howard Iken]

It would be best to tough it out. But of course you have to balance that against potential trouble.

You said there probably is no equity (?) - so that is not an issue.

The claim for alimony is very weak in a 3 year marriage. That does not mean there will not be temporary alimony, but that is up to the specific facts of your case.

All in all, do what you have to do and deal with the consequences. The financial consequences should not be too bad in your situation.

[Frstr8d]

After much thought I agree with you that it is probably best to tough it out.

There is some equity in the home, between 100k and 150k. During the "tough-it-out period" I will try to stay as calm and non-confrontational as possible by doing improvements around the home which will hopefully increase the appraisal value. Nothing major, just painting, minor repairs and some landscaping.

Thanks again for your straight forward advice.