The process of divorce isn’t an easy one–obviously there are reasons why this is happening and they’re probably not very pleasant. What you once had faith in is now whittling away and rising are feelings of anger, resentment, and more. Even though you’ve made the right decision it’s easy for more arguments to arise during this transition.
There are simple ways to diffuse anger, avoid arguments, and make this process overall much more peaceful. Here are five simple ways you can let go of negativity–not solely applicable to divorce process, but also to life’s struggles in a general sense:
1. Learn to let go: Whatever is in the past, is in the past. If it makes you unhappy, change it–if you can’t change it, change the way you view it and move forward. Dwelling on mistakes and negativity that is already said and done is pointless–the only thing you can do now is be in the moment and plan for the betterment of your future.
2. Just breathe: Sounds cliché and overused, but taking a breather can seriously work wonders. This helps slow down your heart rate and controls the amount of oxygen entering your brain. It isn’t silly pseudoscience, there is scientific evidence to back this calming effect up. Taking yoga classes, I’ve practiced many breathing techniques that have exponentially helped me in tense situations. Try it next time!
3. Open up: Your mind and your ears. It is the easiest thing in the world to place blame on others and for us to always be right, right, right, no matter what. But the fact is, sometimes we need to accept that we also hold responsibility for occurrences in our lives–and that doesn’t make you a bad person when you admit it, it makes you self-aware and human. Sometimes realizing this, and truly listening and putting ourselves through another’s perspective can shed some light.
4. Walk away: Especially if you have an explosive temper. Just walk away and give some time for yourself. Taking long walks can help clear out your mind; taking time to be with nature and appreciating the trees, the flowers, and such are the perfect mood lift. If taking walks help you, consider taking other active approaches to let off steam, such as taking jogs, bike rides, or participating in a fitness class such as yoga, boxing, or Zumba.
5. Vent–privately: It’s great to let your thoughts out, but remember, at this point when you’re still in the divorce process, what you post publicly on the internet can hurt you. So be careful about what you think is only seen in your circle of friends, and instead get a journal to write your thoughts, or a small portable recorder if you prefer speaking over writing.
The next time you go through a pressing moment of distress, try using one of these tips to calm down. Methods work differently for everyone, but rest assured there is always a way to de-stress for all.