Keep It Civil During Your Divorce

divorce argumentWhen you get married, you might be wondering what kind of mother or father your spouse will be, if they’ll always be a cover hog, how they’ll age, or whether or not their cooking skills will ever improve.  You probably won’t be wondering how either of you will behave during your divorce.  Nobody ever sees the end in the beginning, and in the instance of marriage, that’s probably a good thing.  Otherwise, nobody would do it!  But this lack of foresight, coupled with the pain and upheaval of divorce, often translates into couples not knowing how to behave during this difficult process.  This is the source of many hurt feelings, but can be avoided if the proper etiquette is followed.

The most important rule to follow when you’re divorcing your spouse is to avoid arguing in front of your children.  If you have to have what you know will be a heated discussion, wait until they aren’t around.   Similarly, avoid naysaying your spouse in front of your children.  This is what friends and therapy are for!  As hurt as you are, it will do nothing but upset and confuse them, not to mention infuse them with feelings of guilt when they can’t share your anger or antipathy.  Despite your division, it’s important to present your children with a united front so that they know they still have two parents who love and take responsibility for them.

Next, it’s important to remember to take your time.  In your distress and desire to heal and start over, it’s easy to make rushed and rash decisions regarding your family, living situation, and finances.  Aside from it being a generally responsible move, you still owe it to your soon-to-be ex to make sure all of the right paperwork and legal business is handled properly, especially if you’re the person leaving.  Read thoroughly about the processes, and consult with your divorce attorney in tampa.  You won’t regret having taken your time to end your marriage properly before beginning your life over.

Once your divorce is under way, remember the importance of communication with your ex.  Be firm, but flexible.  Refusal to negotiate or mediate your settlements is evidence of allowing your emotions to get the best of you.  Divorce or family court is not the place to exact your revenge.  Remember that your ex also has feelings, and that everything will go much more smoothly if you are both conscientious of each other’s pain.  Don’t believe that your ex is the only person responsible for the end of your marriage.  Accepting responsibility and staying in control of your emotions is difficult, but it’s the adult thing to do, and if you have children, you need to set this example of how to deal with conflict.

Finally, after some time has passed and you have begun to heal, try to forgive your ex.  Holding onto your resentment will only make it more difficult to live a fulfilling life without them.

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About Howard Iken

If you are looking for divorce information you will find tons of free information on this website. Divorce Attorney Howard Iken personally created this website with a personal mission: to help people at this critical moment in their lives and to make the process of divorce easier, more understandable, & less intimidating. CONTACT US NOW or call 800-469-3486 (800-4MyDivorce)

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