Now that the ink’s dry on the divorce papers and you’re really rid of him, it’s time to get on with the rest of your life! But before you start creating a profile at Match.com, you need to do a few things to prepare for a fresh start. Begin tonight or this weekend, but these five things need to be on your to-do list.
Stop Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
Women are more sentimental than men and every time you get into the bed you bought together, covered with the sheets that were a wedding gift and in your favorite silky nightie that was from him, you’re gonna have flashbacks. Whether they leave you longing for those amazing things he did with you, or make you angry as a hornet for finding another woman in your spot, you need to take the plunge and change up your room. Head out to Macy’s for one of those new foam and air mattresses, pick up some high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and treat yourself to some new nightwear. Not only will you feel more relaxed, you’ll be totally prepared to make some new memories.
Get Rid of Gifts from Your Ex
The ticket stubs from the movie you saw on your first date, the key from your first apartment, the Van Gogh print you adore — these formerly treasured possessions need to find their way out of your life and into the trash or shelves at Goodwill. Anything that you associate with your ex, save the kids and pets, is seriously worth getting rid of. Wedding gifts may be more difficult to part with, especially practical household things like dishes and the vacuum cleaner. Engraved wine goblets, photos and mementos of the day may be easier to toss, but if not, there’s nothing wrong with banishing them to a closed box in the attic until you sort through the situation and your emotions.
Change the House Locks…
If you do decide to stay in the home, (which is an issue that deserves its own separate article) waste no time in getting the locks changed so your ex doesn’t just invite himself over for a sleepover. If you’ve got a few hours to spare in the evenings and weekends, save a few bucks by buying new locks from your local home improvement store and getting to know your inner handy woman.
…And Your Bank Account
Even if he didn’t have an active role in your financial life and you think he’d be clueless as to where to find your money, don’t leave the possibility out there. Move your money to your own personal account so he won’t be using it to buy flowers for his new love interest. Do be sure to only take the money that is yours, per your divorce decree or other applicable laws to which you’re bound.
Do Some Unfriending
Chances are, at least one person you know isn’t cool with your new relationship status. Let them say what they want, knowing they don’t know all the facts and they’re probably unhappy in their own relationship or lack of one. Ditch the negative Nancy’s and start connecting with positive people who aren’t judgmental. An article from Dr. Phil says that divorced women need to spend time finding their authentic selves through pursuing hobbies, taking up old passions and reconnecting with old friends.