Alimony, Out-of-State Divorce Decree, Marital Torts

[SteliChakai]

Hello...I just found this board and hoped for some advice! A few I have answers (I think but please correct me if I'm wrong) and I humbly apologize for the length of the post!

I, my 2 sons as well as my ex-husband have been Florida residents since June 2009. My divorce was finalized in Kentucky May 2008 (no-fault state), both parties co-petitioners. I have sole custody of both minor children (current ages 12 & 16). There are no custody issues and I have been told by 2 Florida attorneys and have read on this board that all that needs to be done in order for Florida to obtain jurisdiction for any modification to the decree is for a domestication of the decree to be done. I don't know much about that yet but I am sure a good attorney will know what to do. So if that is correct then based on Florida becoming the state with authority to make further rulings here are some of my questions....

In our original order there was no award of alimony and there is a statement in the decree that says all future claims of alimony are forfeited or something like that. We both were employed at the time and I don't believe I qualified. We were married 16.5 years. However, circumstances have changed rather significantly (I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis less than 4 months after the divorce was final and due to my symptoms I have been unable to work. Based on the MRI's and test results, it was clear I had the disease well before the divorce was final), he has financially supported me since 2.5 month after the divorce, I have emails that we have written back and forth discussing the financial support he said he would give that I would like to have modified into the divorce. Basically I have it in writting that he will support me...I know that's not the legal terms and I don't know if it applies...and there has been a precendent shown by the fact he has been doing so for almost 2 years. He also paid to move us to FL in June 09, and although his job is actually based out of NJ, he uses my address and has a FL DL so that as a FL resident he does not have to pay state taxes. This was originally at my suggestion. What are the chances of getting awarded and/or a modification for alimony?

It is also my understanding that a significant other - married or not, but especially if there is no marriage cannot legally interfer in a parental relationship between the parents or parent/child, in any other divorce judgement or affect a divorce judgment. If that is the case and there is interference then is there legal recourse. I'm not asking what they are, just if there are any. That would probably be way too much to answer here.

I also wanted to know where Florida Law stands on Marital/Domestic Torts? I have found a couple of attorneys in my area (I live in Lee County) that mention them. Although my ex never physically harmed me or my children, we were and still are recipients of his emotional, mental and verbal games. (I don't really like the word victim much). I have a 4 page, typed document that is signed/notorized written by my ex that tells of things he said and did during the last 10 years of our marriage that in a fault state would have alone proved Mental and Emotional Cruelty and Adultry. I also have emails, text messages, etc., but his is subtle with his abuse.

I do know that I need to talk with an attorney. That really is the best way to get the information, counsel, answers and guidence that I need...but it's very difficult to know who to make an appointment with. I'd be surprised if this is a cut and dry case just based on the way the average person's reaction from listening about my ex and divorce is any indication. It will probably take someone with an open mind, good thinking skills and good presentation to help me. And I don't have a money tree in my back yard to pay for several consultations to find just the right one. So...since I found this board and there seems to be some real legal advice/answers being given, I thought I would give my poor brain a rest and let someone else try to answer these ???

Thanks for hanging in til the end...hope I have given enough information to enable some answers without overdoing it, and I appreciate any and all advice that is offered!


"A word to the wise ain't neccessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice!" ~Bill Cosby

[Attorney Cheri Hobbs]

If your Final Order of Dissolution of Marriage states that there is no award of alimony and there is a statement in the decree that says all future claims of alimony are forfeited then (and because it has been past the time to appeal) you cannot modify for alimony.

That said, if you are receiving child support you can modify the amount based on the substantial change in circumstances that you now are unable to work due to MS.

If your ex will sign a contract stating how much and how often etc. he will provide financially for you then you both can sign a contract between the two of you (just like any other non-married people can).

If a parent is interfering with your relationship between the minor child(ren) and yourself then you do have legal recourse under your court order.

The way the legal system works, a party is supposed to bring all relevant claims at the same time or they may waive their right to address an issue in the future. It seems here that if you did not bring up abuse during the divorce previously, you have waived the ability to bring it up now once there was a Final Judgment. Even here in Florida (also a no-fault state), a party should bring up abuse in order to preserve their right/interest in a settlement, etc.

The Divorce Center offers FREE 1/2 hour consultations currently. Please contact us at 800-469-3486 if you would like to discuss this further.

Attorney Cheri Hobbs