Is my Ex allowed to change custody after 1 year?

[worriedmom]

Hi there.
I have primary timeshare of my 9 yo and 7 yo and was notified by my ex-husband yesterday that he now wants 50/50, alternating weeks. My 9 yo is in agreement but my 7 yo is not. My children have been very stable with the current situation (alternating weekends and I never say "no" to extra days when requested) and they have flourished with improved attitudes and grades since our divorce. It has been 1 year and 3 months since our divorce was final.

Should he petition the courts for 50/50, what are his chances of getting it? Besides the incredible emotional loss of not having my children as much as I have (I was a stay-at-home mom prior to the divorce and have still been active with them while I work), I will undoubtedly suffer financially losing the child support. It will require me to move out of their current school district and I will no longer be able to afford their extracurricular activities they are currently involved in that their father does not take initiative to attend or sign them up for unless I push the issue. So much will change, and I know that my 9 yo is too young to consider the larger ramifications of the request.

I have no issue with my 9 yo wanting to spend more time; however, the father has up to 3 weekends and 1 night per week built into the current schedule and he currently only takes 2 weekends and 0 nights during the week. So, honestly, he's barely utilizing 50% of the time he's been granted by the courts as it is and he's requesting more time? I'm always offering him more time, and his answer is that he already has plans. Additionally, he has missed many practices to stay at home with his s.o., watching movies or going to dinner. To me, this is not indicative of one who wants "more time".

I need guidance of how to proceed and protect my children, without being vindictive. I don't have any money in savings and am skating by on my earnings and the child support.

Someone, please help me figure this out. Thank you.

[Attorney Howard Iken]

It is much more difficult to change an existing final order compared to the original process of getting the judgment. Chances are he will not be able to significantly modify the order unless certain requirements are in place.

[worriedmom]

Apparently, my ex claims that there are "6 qualifications" that have to be met...do you have any idea what he is talking about? He seems confident he can get the timesharing agreement changed...He has money to back his side up. I don't even have money for a retainer. I don't know if he's "blowing smoke" or if he's for real.

[Attorney Howard Iken]

There is a lot of "smoke" in these types of situations

[worriedmom]

There is a lot of "smoke" in these types of situations

Hi there again!

I think he's moving forward. He brought it up again and this time stated he wanted us to talk to a lawyer. I do not feel it to be in my best interest, or the children's, for us to share a lawyer.

Also, is the child support he currently pays to be considered as part of my income when the court looks at revising? I'm very worried at how I can provide for the kids on my income alone and if they look at my income with his support included, the judge may not think twice; but I don't want to go into this blind thinking I can leave the child support out of my income information and then get in trouble for doing so?

It seems very unavoidable now as he has the children very excited over this new plan...but going forward with the new plan changes their whole world on this end.

I'm scared and not sure how to proceed.

[Attorney Howard Iken]

There is nothing for you to do until he files and serves you. Until that happens, there is nothing happening.